Overcoming Lack of Communication

"LACK OF COMMUNICATION" is one of the BIGGEST problems in marriages and it's unfortunately it's something all of us married couples have experienced at one point. What most people don't know is how to fix the communication problem or simply moving forward and getting out of that "rut".

One of the most important things to identify after you have made the decision to improve your communication is to tap into the root issue. Now, are you ready to know what it is????

The number one "root issue" problem in marriage is…SELFISHNESS.

Selfishness means “seeking one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.”

Everyone struggles with selfishness. We all want what we want when we want it. We were born this way. You don’t have to teach a small child how to say “gimme, gimme” when they see a toy they want that another child has.

Many times people go into a marriage relationship for what it can provide for them. They want security, affection, companionship, money, sex, to name a few. “Give, give” they cry. But God wants us to be more focused on others and less focused on ourselves.

Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others
1 Corinthians 10:24 (NLT)

How often do you hear of people entering into their marriage thinking, "what can I do to make this other person’s life more fulfilling?" Answer............ Rarely.

Living a life of selfishness will hinder your marriage, and possibly others who you come into contact with, from receiving from God.

Personally, this area hit me right between the eyes. I was sucking out of our marriage. Constantly I was in the mindset of why won’t my wife do this or that. I wanted her to give to me. Concern about what I could give to her without expecting something in return was not a part of my thinking.

Respect, honor, kindness, and self-worth were things I was requiring from her. But it seemed like God held a mirror up right in front of my face and quite honestly, the image I seen was not what I had planned or what I wanted my wife to have. She deserves better! We deserve better!

I saw just how selfish I was and that I was not doing anything in our marriage to make it better or more importantly, glorifying to God. Edifying our marriage and building up my wife by seeking to only meet her needs were things that I wasn’t doing at all.

Since then, God has been helping me to turn it around so as to constantly seek to put my wife’s well-being first…and NOT expecting a single thing in return. (Ephesians 4:1-5)

We shouldn’t always be thinking about ourselves and only what we need. We should walk in love, unselfishly thinking of others and their benefit more than our own. When we walk in love and bless others, we can expect God to take care of our needs in the process.

Don’t suck the life out of your marriage by always seeking to get and never giving.

~Nick~

Can I Say It?

2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

I always wonder if I'll be able to say this. I see myself when no one else does, and I know the thoughts I have that never come out of my mouth.

Does this ever way heavy on your heart?

The great truth is that God sees our heart. He knows how hard we try to (or try not to) please Him. He is more gracious with us than we are ourselves and He is more forgiving of us than we are ourselves. He tosses are repented sin into the deepest sea. When we feel like a failure, He stands cheering us on fully knowing our true potential. He tells or believes no lies about the person He has created, He sees me (and you) in away we will never comprehend.

Isn't He wonderful, Beautiful, Almighty God, Prince of Peace, the Great I Am...Isn't He!

I'm Good....I'm Saved!

Proverbs 3:5-6 ~Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Abraham did it. Job did it. David did it, most of the time. Jesus did it all of the time. Paul did it. Lots and lots of minor characters in the Bible did it. What keeps us from living according to this verse? Are there any secrets to the Christian life?

Too often our hearts are easily divided--so one secret is in the first phrase:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart.

Too often our own view is a short-sighted view--so another secret is in the second phrase:

Lean not unto your own understanding.

Too often our focus is only on the Lord when we're in church or in our personal devotional times, and not in our work, our leisure, and our family life; so another secret is in the third phrase:

In all your ways acknowledge Him.

If we do those three things, we can trust Him for the fourth phrase:

He shall direct your paths. (Steve S.)

Too many Christians take God for granted! We assume that, just because we became believers He will honor us by directing His plan for our lives. We forget that we have a role to play--a role of trust, reliance on His wisdom, and faithfulness in every area of life. Spend one day, this day, not taking God for granted. Then do it again tomorrow!

Be The Blessing

Pursue Love

"What spiritual gift do I have? What about him? Or her? What if I don't know what mine is? What if...???"

Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 14:1 to "pursue love and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts". Not "obsess" over them, for God should be our obsession. If you're not sure what yours is, ask God and pursue love.

What does it mean to pursue love? Well, the Bible tells us that God is love.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." [1 John 4:16]

So ask God, pursue love (God), and the rest will take care of itself.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." [Matt. 6:33]

Your response is everything.

dustin

Will You Be One?

Yesterday at Friendship we talked about the End Times. Whenever that kind of topic is addressed there are all sorts of questions that get raised regarding timing, events, whose going to be where when. The vast majority of these questions can be answered but there are a lingering few that must simply be answered, "We really don't know. God has chosen to leave us in the dark regarding that."

For some people this can be very unnerving. We get caught up in the "hype" regarding Revelation and we think that God should tell us everything. We'll folks, it just doesn't work that way!

Instead of getting irritated by what we don't know, why don't we act upon what we do know. We know that at some point our ability to share the life changing message of Jesus Christ will be over, whether by our death or by the Rapture of the Church. We also know that all those who die without Christ will be forever separated from Him in a very real place called Hell...Let's get busy!

Friendship was created to be a mission for the lost, a hospital for the sick, refreshment for the weary, and a place of hope for the hopeless. We need people who are committed to seeing the vision become a reality, we need Men to step up and be godly leaders in their home, their workplace, and the church. We need Women who will use their gifts and talents, who will nurture and discipline. We need people who will realize that time is short and lives are hanging in the balance.

Will you be one?

He said to another person, “Come, follow me.”

The man agreed, but he said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.”

But Jesus told him, “Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead! Your duty is to go and preach about the Kingdom of God.”

Another said, “Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good–bye to my family.”

But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” - Luke 9:59-62

Philippians 4:12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.

Isn't it amazing that Paul said those words. This was a man who knew what it was like to live without Christ and knew what it was like to have Christ completely in his life. Paul had been in jail, beaten, criticized, gone without food, left isolated and alone without friends and yet he could say he was content. This is amazing to me! I whine if it's an hour past time for me to eat. As a matter of fact I whine (sometimes secretly) just when things aren't going the way I want them to.

To know that Paul's mind and heart were synchronized with one another on this subject gives me hope that I can do it. And yes, you can too! Paul was a sinner just like us, born from regular old flesh and blood just like us, and lived in situations that are prone to cause discontentment just like us. But, he rose above it! Paul had his focus on Christ were it needed to be. He didn't base his contentment on people or surrounding circumstances. He was a man that knew what really mattered so he was able to live with contentment in his life.

Get your heart and mind synchronized on what really matters so you too can live with the contentment Paul talks to us about in the book of Philippians.

Deeper Still

Luke 6:47-48 I will show what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When the flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. (NIV)

It's a good idea to build your faith before troubles hit; and troubles will come (John 16:33). Since faith comes from hearing the Word of God (Rom. 10:17), you can build and strengthen your faith everyday by reading and meditating on it. It's kind of like preparing for an extreme expedition in some remote part of the world. You work out first, getting your body in shape. You then collect as much information as you can about your trial/expedition. Then when the time comes, you are physically and mentally fit for the challenge.

Whether you are building faith or preparing to go to the extreme, it's a lot easier to build yourself up mentally, physically and most of all spiritually before the storm hits. Simply put, "Be Prepared," because God says hard times will happen and the only way to make it through is to dig deep into His Word which strengthens us.

Be the Blessing